Started out all alone
And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I started out for God knows where
But I guess Ill know when I get there
Im learning to fly but I aint got wings
Comin down is the hardest thing
Truth be told, inside, I've had a lot of guilt since I dropped out of Kanza. I knew it was the right thing to do, but me, well I'm my own worst enemy. Yesterday I had to get out and ride - so I told my wife I'm headin' out, and I'll be back in a couple hours. "I'll just ride downtown and back", or "I'll do some laps on the bike path". "Maybe I'll head out to Walton". Next thing I knew I was veering on to gravel, smiling, sweating and loving every second. When I got closer to town I turned away, and headed further out. The roads got steeper, tougher, rougher and the smile got bigger.
Those hills, they're something else, but every time you go up one you can catch your breath and say inside "yeah, i just kicked that hill's ass". And that's just bueno. Simply put, today's ride where I visited downtown Lincoln, downtown Walton, and waved at Bennett as I turned home - it was exactly what I needed but never knew I needed.
Some amazing things have happened the past several weeks, and something else amazing in the works (MG, seriously, thank you - I'm honored). I'm going to write about it all, but I've got to sit back and digest it all first. My week off, it starts now, and oh man there's goona be a lot of riding in store. And blogging. And smiles.
One point today while I was griding up a particularly beastly hill, with the sun beating down on me, the awful PowerBar Gel (the only bad part of today's ride) gurgling in my stomach I thought "is this really better than my life was before?" Then I thoought aboout even the best day being 567 pounds, even the brightest part. Simple answer: no.
Some days you ride and it's tough. Some days you ride and it's good. And some days it's downright spiritual. Today was one of those... just.. damn.
4 comments:
Ben...you just ROCK!
Seems like everyone I'm talking to this year is trying to pull out of some mysterious slump/funk. It's so good to hear that you are pulling out of yours.
I always look forward to a new entry in your blog. It helps to get me off my arse and get out and ride.
Have a great week off.
Michael
Good stuff Ben! Keep on pedalin' dude!
jtgyk - Thanks man! if there's something I've learned, it's that you are goona fall off, you're goona slump, and it's goona suck. But the fun part is dusting yourself off, laughing, and doing it all over again. That's what I try to remember.. and the funk is mysteriously (not so much) disappearing. Rockin' like you wouldn't believe.
Cornbread - Will do! One of these days I gotta get out on the Bacon Ride.. .maybe this week...
See, you may not have done DK, but you rode and you loved it, AND Nate had a fantastic birthday this night. Better birthday than he had the last year or so, and you were a major part of that.
We love you and support you and you are kicking ass and I'm LOVING seeing you so totally stoked and re-motivated. You've got me totally going again when I really need it. :) :)
You will be in TIP TOP shape for DK next year, honey, and we will have that fund set aside for it next year so that NO MATTER WHAT, you'll be there. Hopefully we'll be there right along with you (depending on kids' school, birthday, etc.)
Love you!
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