There are so many risks to being obese that, at this point, it's really hard to quantify all of them. Yet most, myself included at one point, look at the list and go "yeah I know I'm going to die if I keep doing this". See, though, it's not just about that - you run the risk of dying no matter what you do. Obese smokers could, theoretically, live to 90 while a triathlete can drop dead tomorrow at their peak from some unknown cause. So yes, obesity will kill you - and will kill you faster than being healthy, most of the time.
But that's not what this is about.
This is about that magical quality of life. I can tell you without hesitation that my quality of life now is higher than it was when I didn't care about what I did. Sure, riding a bike a bunch is "tough", not eating crappy food is "tough", and not doing all kinds of "fun" stuff our society deems fun is "tough". However, the pleasure I get from thinking about my on-bike exploits is far beyond anything an unhealthy habit can provide.
That's still not what this is about, but we're getting closer.
My last post hit on, briefly, what's going on with me right now. Moreso what's going on is that I have a disc in my back that's inflamed and pressing on a nerve that goes down to my leg. Last weekend and most of this week, that resulted in cramping pain in my right thigh every time I walked or stood up - and boy howdy did it hurt. Not just that, but I had to sleep basically sitting up with my legs elevated, on the couch, or it hurt like that when I attempted to sleep. So for four days I was on the couch in the living room, not in my bed, attempting to get some rest. And popping pills from three different pill bottles to deal with the pain, inflammation, and cramping.
What caused all this? Repetitive minor injury to one of the discs over time caused minor ruptures in the disc, which healed themselves with scar tissue. Over time, though, there was a lot of scar tissue - and now whatever I did made it mad, essentially, to where it was inflamed and bulging from those previous injuries and pressing against that nerve. Which was, and still basically is, hugely painful.
Pain I can deal with, but the thoughts of what might happen were worse. You know, am I ever going to ride a bike again? Heck, is this that injury where I never WALK again? Add in a side order, super-sized, of guilt for doing it to myself - and you have quite the combo. It was a rough couple days.
Today, almost a week later, I'm probably 50% better. The cramps are mostly gone, but there's still some pain, and now I have numbness in that leg this morning. I'm going to Physical Therapy three times a week to get it addressed, as well as being on Prednisone and a special back pill thing. I was on hydrocodone for the pain, but it left me feeling foggy headed and not myself, so I'm done with it (took one last night, no mas).
Outside, right now, it's about 5 degrees below zero with a -20 windchill, but all I can think about is riding my bike. Or, moreso, trying not to think that maybe the last time I rode was the last time I'll ever ride. Trying not to think what other ailments are lurking and ready to strike, sins of the past that will now catch up to me in painful, debilitating ways.
Obesity will kill you, and it will kill you in extremely painful ways. It doesn't just kill you, but it kills your soul. The next time you go to McDonald's just think, is that cheeseburger worth never being able to walk again? Is that alfredo sauce really worth golden years spent in a wheelchair? I know that's all I think about, and I hope by sharing this, it will help someone else.
The pain spent to get healthy is good pain, I look fondly upon even the most painful memory of cycling while the pain I have now will be remembered as a very dark, desolate time. Does that make sense? I'm sure it doesn't because five years ago it wouldn't to me, or maybe even a month ago. Now the only thing I can think about are long gravel rides, and the peace that comes with them. Sure there's pain, but it's sure better than this.
6 comments:
Hang in there, bud. Physical therapy is the most useful pain there is, and it does get better.
Glad to hear you are getting medical help. And yes, like db said, it will get better. You are right, when you are out grinding the gravel you will think this is nothing compare to what I went through.
wife had the same issue a few years back, had a bulging disk that was hitting the nerve and in the end started to casue nerve damage. She did the physical therapy thing which helped a bit but what eventually helped her was a back specialist removing part of the disk. She got so much better she played a year of professional womens football for the Cincinnati sizzle. Sadly though she has had a re-occurance of sorts, not of the same issue but where the disk has been partially removed she has had bone/cartilidge rubbing and has given her some arthritis there. She has once again had to go through physical threrapy, this time to teach her back how to use other muscles to compensate for the disk issue.
Moral of this is make sure you keep an eye on your back and dont take Physical Therapy as the big curer. if you feel its not going forward see the doctor again and tell him
Steve
Ben -- I was in the same EXACT situtaion last year, only the disc was in my neck, shooting pain down my arm.
You described exactly what I was going through -- sleeping on the couch trying to hit the sweet spot just to get a couple hours of sleep. The pain, like yours, was excruciating.
After it was diagnosed, I had physical therapy sessions as well. I avoided surgery, but have some minor permanent nerve damage as a result (my thumb is essentially numb.)
My advice: Do the therpay religiously. Don't be in a hurry to rush back -- those discs heal very slowly. We're talking months, not days.
Best of luck.
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Ben, bummer about the back. Heal up man!
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