So.

It's been about a month since I've ridden the bike. I'm not hurt, nothing's wrong with me - I just had some thinking to do. See, for me, cycling-related activities got to the point where they were eating up 4 hours out of my day. 2 hours to shower, change, shave and get ready 3 times a day, the hour each way to work.. yeah it got to me. Leaving home at 6am and getting back at 6pm just was too much with work stress. So I took a break.

I regret it, and I don't. I needed to sort some things out, refocus - and I did. Last night I had a hard time thinking about motivation to get this stuff done, but now I have it. I needed a break to breathe after I finished a hellish couple semesters of school, and I got it.

So tonight I ride. And maybe tomorrow night or early morning too. It really irritates me that I squandered the summer, and am in NO SHAPE to ride the Gravel Worlds at this point. The first year I pushed through pain and finished the thing. The second year (last year) cramps got the best of me and I bailed out after a solid 80 mile effort. This year my longest ride has been about 60 miles, so it's almost delusional to think I'd even have a chance of even hitting checkpoint 2.

Maybe that's what it's about. Go into the thing and get some motivation from just trying.

Maybe. Part of me likes just being the big dude that has the balls to line up on a ridiculously brutal ride next to people in ridiculously good shape.

We'll see.